Okay, I don’t really have any pictures for these “so-called” sightings, so I will do my best to use as much imagery as I in describing some of the things I saw in the neighborhood today.
Old lady buying lingerie – Okay, so this isn’t exactly newsworthy, but I did see it, and I had really never seen it before. I was at Conway trying to buy some of the cheapest sweats I could by to work out in on my way to the gym, and while I was waiting in line, this old, overweight, black lady in her 60’s kept holding up this piece of pink lingerie, as she measured it up and down and pressed it against her body to get a feel for how it would look on her. While I know old people are having sex too, the image of her doing whatever it is she plans on doing in that piece of lingerie was quite disturbing. Not to say she doesn’t deserve to have some romance in her life, I just need to go to Foot Locker the next time I’m looking for workout pants.
The Delivery Man with no orders – Okay, so I’ve been going to barber shops in the hood all of my life (on a related note, see my latest series, “Search for a Barber”), but this was a first for me. I was at the barber shop, getting my hair cut and watching a bootleg copy of “Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins,” when middle-aged, black man with a chef’s uniform walked into the barber shop with like 3 thermo-bags in his hands. Now mind you, I have seen almost everything there is to sell sold in a barber shop; bootleg movie, CDs, DVDs, posters, watches, jackets, comforters, jewelry, knives, guns, socks, gym memberships, and believe it or not, toilet paper.
However, this man in a chef’s uniform was selling something I had never seen sold in a barber shop in this manner. The dude was selling food! Granted, I have seen money exchanged for food in a barbershop, but it usually entails an order being placed, somebody going to pick it up, or something of a more traditional sort. But this guy apparently just goes from door to door, selling food he cooked at home to people in barbershops and other retail outlets in Harlem. His menu? Some of the usuals; bean soup, grilled salmon, gourmet chicken sandwiches, pasta, and fresh squeezed apple juice. Yes, the brother was bringing a finer taste to this side of 96th Street, but it will be a cold day in you know where before I buy food from a brother selling salmon platters as if he were a door to door salesman selling tube socks.